October 9th, 2011

adult swim, america you are fat, funny

Simple Pleasures

I trimmed off a large bunch of leaves off my salad greens growing on my larger Aerogarden. It helped form the base of the salad Will made for us. The smaller Aerogarden has three herbs growing lushly for Will to use for making burritos or small soft tacos. My oyster mushroom box finally took off and we have a large batch ready for some Asian style stirfry and/or to add to burritos etc.

Having my health going slowly and continuously slowly degenerating can, and is, just send me into a depressive tailspin. Do I really miss Shawn and do I honestly regard my divorce as a mistake to be mended if at all possible? I've got animals - effectively our children - laying on our bed and on me and my love for them does have my love for him mixed up in there.

But at the same time that I believe our divorce is a mistake I would rectify if I could, I do believe that for all the pain he has caused if he hadn't taken time off he would have continued to treat me progressively worse. I can love him but know that almost all who saw us together near the end thought he was horrible to and toward me. He may have outsiders who think otherwise, but I go off those who actually spent time with us enough to judge from their own experience and not just from what either of us had to say...

Enough...I merely wanted to note the fresh garden sections I have growing in my home. Things with Will continue to work. I do like him, I feel safe with him, and it seems to be doing us both a good turn. I haven't lived with a stranger and had it work out since Long Beach. I miss Long Beach. I guess because that's the last place I had health. We had a nice apartment. I miss ... Well I miss a lot but I like to try to move on and create a happy space here and now. Should tonight be a Mel Brooks or a Steven Sondheim night? And shall I write to see if this week might bring me visitors?

Daily Distraction(s)

I have all four pets on the bed with me and one of them just managed to stink up the room. Eugh! I do appreciate the quiet company they provide me with.

Somebody I have a crush on called me yesterday and I missed it. Wah! Though it does make me feel a little better about, well, things. Like my weight from the necessary steroids. It does make me feel a little better to know that my weight gain doesn't stop some people from finding me attractive.

I need to change my "pets" icon to exchange Petal for Purrbarella. Beck, I need to change a lot of little such things. Must not let them continue accumulating with a continual drop due to my mental fog and confusion.