November 24th, 2011




Today has really shown me the schism twixt me and Will. He doesn't help as much as I need, but that's something I'm trying to see as good. It causes me to push myself.

But he effectively told me he lacks respect for me because of my collection of stuff. It annoys me that he has to use a bed with pillows, a heater, a chair to use at the desk he made out of one of my tables and yet stuff he hates? Hypocritical or ironic? Either way it doesn't feel friendly or self aware. Since we met I've known we both absolutely do not find the other attractive. The physical aversion is one thing, but the longer we live together the more I discover he doesn't have a very logical way of thinking. Anyway, it bothers me that Shawn bitched about stuff as well and then just dumped all of it basically with me. He kept our music studio stuff. He now doesn't have as much stuff because it's here with me.

And Will has a really comfy room with stuff making it so and yet he can effectively tell me he looks down on me because of all the stuff (which I've had person after person say they would love to help me organize and sell and earning 50% of profit) I have. Even though I've asked for help over and over again. Not just him. But I seriously need help to make the stuff either go where it belongs or sell it for space and monetary gain.

Oh well. Had a quick enjoyable talk with Mom. Watching MST3K Gamera box set. I love media so hopefully this will distract me. I'm having dizzy spells. And though it's almost midnight, we haven't finished making our TG dinner.

It's too bad I don't have a friend to grab me to attend some insane early thing like the Old Navy midnight opening with free waterproof cameras in a package set. That might have been fun.