December 11th, 2011

Hating christmas the right way!

What to do about life

I've a strong desire to put an ad somewhere saying "Normal lady in distressed circumstances, seeks Irish boyfriend for a winter fling. Prefer Dylan Moran type, especially as his character "Brendan Black". While disabled and overweight due to a high reaction to the steroids ingested for Addison's Disease and as old as 42 due to the passing of time inexorably onward. I will allow you to buy me flowers and chocolates and read poetry as we giggle over our Absinthe whilst watching the "Father Ted" episode when the three bishops come to move a stone from a class three to a class two or sommit and they were divided and conquered as it were. Will and I guesstimated today that I've spent close to $800-$900 on my four pets (excluding my aquarium) in just a few months. Between vaccines, annuals, medicine, food, litter, treats, and emergency medicines I have had a serious outlay. On top of that I have the death of Purrbarella and assorted expenses and the adoption fees and so on for Precious Petal. If any of my friends love animals and would have donated money to a cause for aiding me in their costs as my medical expenses are trying to bury me alive, please consider one of my amazon pet wishlist wishes? Or one of my medical needs and house things via @amazon ones, like an over the bed table like you see in hospital, or one of my more silly for the house ones. Such as food or lamps or electric heaters. Yeah, anything for my health or my pets makes for a good donation to the cause of my beloved pets. The hospital bills are heavy. My medical marijuana isn't covered by insurance and is quite pricey. It feels like when Shawn and I had no money but had to pay $3/pill two to three times a day every day. It all added up and it still does add up. I hope my IHSS application goes well. I'm so happy they accepted my application. Now I've a three month wait the woman who took my details before approving my app. to get whomever helps me can get paid an hourly wage. Which would be great because it would mean that I could not have to pay for their rent and utilities and everything. That would be fantastic, honestly. Will and I have worked out that it works to between $6-$12/hour depending on the day's needs. But the basic framework works out to a decent amount if the barter system taking the need for taxes to be taken out of my assistant's pay, making the rent/utilities/perquisits equal more than that. Funny thing: In the mail came a letter and my parking permit for the Prius. It said in big bold letters that it was ended on December 2011. I called Will in to verify I wasn't hallucinating. The proper one came today with the attached paperwork with the very funny sort of pathetic sounding thing they had put in "Other" as to what the fuss was that caused me to need a new one mailed out. Heh. Having a heck of a time sorting through everything. Saw Candice Friday. It felt great to see her and catch her up and sort of work my thoughts out loud...this is taking far too long - the brace is incredibly in the way. I've taken a ton of photos lately and now I've my replacement HP dm1 I can stop using my TouchPad for certain things. And I'm lending it to Will while he's housesitting. I got it during the $99- ultra sale when HP announced dumping them. Very lucky! If I had the money at the time I would have purchased two but nope...Anyway, I'm feeling very much in need of a winter Irish boyfriend. He'll stand there and just look all wistful, his hair blowing in the wind. Heh.

Socialization Needs Don't End With This


Finally watched "The Darjeeling Limited" tonight (on BluRay (_finally_) on my (used) laptop) and it definitely deserved me to wait until I could focus on it and see just how impressive Wes Anderson's use of film, light, space, movement, timing, and how all of it tries to show more than the limited amount of depth interior-wise.

I've such a thing for large noses on men. Very sexy to me. Thus I've a veritable smorgasbord of sexiness with the three main characters. Do women and men truly have sexual experiences regularly or is this quick pick up sex just part of male interior dialog of fantasy? Seems a bit of a wish fulfillment by a short, only moderately attractive, man? Plausible if they're rich and/or famous or even just might infuse life with even a momentary bit of glamor.

Playing games to continue attempting to distract myself from things causing more unhappiness in me. Today Will and I had our first argument. Didn't go well. He actually stooped to saying I don't appreciate him. It reminded me of Al saying I didn't support his being a musician. Something do obviously untrue that there's a problem festering that I can't do anything about. With Al it was his homesickness and desire to move back to Boston and be near his mother again. I'm thinking with Will it has to do with his three weeks away.

He owns his own car. However it's not insured or registered as of now. I actually went with him to his meeting in SF on Saturday. By went with him, I mean I sat in the car for an extended period of time so he could go. And when he thanked me I made sure to say that he waited patiently for me when I had my therapy appointment and then went and got my hair cut so I could assist him this time.

I'm terrified because in a few days I'm going to be in a situation where I don't have any help and though I've an accepted application for my caregiver to get paid a wage, I've a bit of a wait. Plus whomever is my caregiver has to take a class or two and pay a fee to the county.

People who have said mean or thoughtless things about my health and need for help and that the care I need isn't remunerative enough, don't have a bloody clue. It causes me to get frustrated and feel insulted. Anyway, "The Darjeeling Limited" really has more than even "Steve Zissou" so far as depth and playing with sets and memory and it seems a good movie to pair with "A Scanner Darkly."

I suddenly recalled Allison and Thomas' movie nights in Cambridge, MA back in '98-'99. Those were such fun. We had so much fun...the nights of dinner parties and trips to apple orchards. Before Shawn.

Does anybody have the soundtrack? And does anybody want to go with me to use a Groupon code for a local diner Monday? Anybody have the ability and desire to take a drive with me and the dogs for a time away from here? I've a car with excellent mileage, a large tent, cooking stove and such, etc. so it could be pleasurable.

Black flamingo!!!