January 19th, 2012


Just A Quick Reminder (Spoons Gone)

The clotting issue appears to have returned. The pain is ridiculous and if I say I've not completely over done it today I'm lying.

Almost no sleep. Up to call my social worker and sort some things out. After staying up organizing and sorting I finally got my printer wirelessly working so I've got almost everything needed to turn in.

Cleaned cat litter, took three containers of recyclables out to the back porch, finished getting boxes ready to ship, so many chores hovering that I gave up waiting for Will so I did them. It's like the compost. I've not only asked him to use it but when he hadn't dumped it since his return I asked yesterday and then I found he hadn't and I asked him again so he did.

But that's a problem I'm running into over and over. He's an excellent cook and that helps me eat. He's almost Asian in his keeping of rice always going in my rice cooker. It's almost never off. But he's good at making tea and never forgets my morning ritual even if he forgets night ones. But it's difficult because of his self-isolation. He doesn't clean or attempt to help me in the organizational chores which means they don't get done unless I do like today.

And end up completely bruised with myoclonus so bad I'm beyond stuttering and shaking. I'm twisted in a sort of curly-q shape and shivering and if I try to talk it's horrible because I'm stuttering from the palate issue and so forth. It was bad when the morning started and now I'm about as bad as when it first hit after my horrible never to be repeated stay at Pill Hill Alta Bates.

In other words I'm beyond fucked health-wise and it's horribly frightening because while I'm most definitely not afraid to die I am most certainly not strong enough to keep up the pretense that I can do this. Because I no longer can.

When people who have seen how sick I get tell me point blank they're unable to accept the fact of my illness because they don't want to believe it...it makes me feel even more alone and like utter shite.

And so I end up bruised all over - the two light marks are from walking the dogs with my cane. The other side of the same arm is covered from the infinite number of things that can bruise even when not anemic in the least bit.

Whining on and I need to stop because I have a video I took that I wish to post for Erica. Her birthday's the 18th.

There's probably no point but: Have spare time? Have a love of cuddling platonically with friends even without ecstasy? Love movies and/or games? Please come share hugs and warmth and force me to rest. If you have spare time and want to possibly earn some money please come and sell all the things I need or want to sell and get a hefty commission.

And a 43rd birthday has no reason for celebration. Please let it not even need to be thought of. And Tim Burton should be horsewhipped and possibly keelhauled for ruining what could have been a great film if he didn't cast the mother of his child (children?) as the female lead in a movie needing at least semi decent singing and his close friend as the lead male role who needs an even stronger singing voice - instead it ended up looking great but those sometimes flat notes couldn't stop peeping through. Ouch and ow.


Apple Battery Open Ended Surprise!

This is what I found when I noticed one side of my Powerbook was higher than the other last night. The computer was actually lifted up off the desk on one side. So I flipped it over only to see that it looked like one side had become disconnected. I finally removed it only to find it as the pictures show. I contacted customer service today and guess what?!? The CSR went to find a supe only to return with the message that this happens occasionally to older batteries when they're near their death. And thank you, but I need to take it to a proper faciliity for disposal and I need to purchase a new one at the price of $129-.

No assistance. No offer to help dispose of it (though I can take it to an Apple store to do so, even though they know I'm disabled etc.). No discount even off a new one! I told the young man helping me that I understood that this was not his personal policy and that since he was writing up this case as a concern and suggestion that I will not offer Apple any more custom. I purchased a small high powered laptop for easier access for none media creation computer work and internet access for twice the cost of merely a new battery to replace one that is literally coming apart.

Let him know that I felt completely disrespected by Apple's policy and that I was going to post the photos and Apple's stated policy regarding a battery like this where there was no outside cause of this issue. Since Apple states this happens occasioinally and that they refuse to aid even a person who might need it (like somebody disabled/bedridden). So, fellow Apple lovers, please bear in mind that their policy regarding an expanding battery is "fuck off and buy a new one."

And with that, I'm off to see if I can find a replacement battery for less than that as I may not purchase their products in the future, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to just chuck my Powerbook out. I intend to continue to use it until it dies - which will hopefully not be for some time. I'm glad that I decided against the iPad for a lightweight tablet. Granted it's being used by Will currently as his iMac screen is kaput (he's got two in his room because he had hoped to replace his old one by scavanging parts given by a friend). My HP Tablet was purchased the day of the uber sale for a mere $99-. My HP Pavilion dm1 was purchased on eBay for $335-. Effectively giving me access to most of what I need that's none creative for a price around a new iPad. Not worth it after finding out they won't even replace an expanding battery.

If I wasn't so sick I would seriously consider this worthy of class action status. Well, I mean that I would consider it a worthy cause if I wasn't stuck sick in bed with enough already on my plate with trying to get all my paperwork together to get to my social worker in time for my case to not get screwed up. Which is really the most important thing for me to get completed now. I wish Erica was around, I could really use her help completing the forms. And I'm waiting for Shawn to send me a few documents I need. But he hasn't responded since his last request for me to write it out since he couldn't read the scan of the needed documents.

My mind is sickened by so much of the nastiness of people in this world. I came across my wedding ring yesterday and it nearly made me start crying. How can a person not only change so much, but become such a liar as well? Erica would (and has in the past) say that if he didn't lie to himself he would have to face what a shit he has become. He's a liar to himself and thus to the world he inhabits. My best friend for a decade...sigh. The Powerbook was one of his more thoughtful gifts from times gone by. His friendship remains the thing I miss most in the world. But this is not supposed to be about more than the computer issue and the pain from sitting up to type this is becoming beyond tolerable so ... beware the expanding battery!