February 6th, 2012


I Can't Take Much More Of This

I _JUST_ found out that I'm not able to get to go to PT Rehab today, after all and once again. To call this devastating actually seems a bit of an understatement. It's not merely the pain. It's not merely the isolation. There are so many layers and levels as to why this has me mentally curved into a foetus position though I can't physically do so. Or I would.

This keeps happening and I'm so in need of my babies right now. Having all of these illnesses rolling on top of one another and not having the love and care to help sustain me at times like these just seems to make it feel even worse.

The red rash on the inside crease of my elbow appears to have been a fungal infection of the candida variety. At least it got caught in time so that though I've a few "dents" in my skin, most of it has cleared up. That's not shockingly upsetting since it's merely more physical evidence of how sick my body is as a whole.

There's a million things more but I'm far too sick to try and continue. Suffice to say that if you know me and know how and where to find me, please do. I'm in deep need of help. Emotional especially. My teeth are about to fall out of my head and I can barely handle sitting up and I seriously keep thinking I've reached the end of my proverbial rope only to find out that there's a little bit further I can fall.

About to overtly beg for visitors but there's very little reason to. Off to try for exhausted or maybe exhausting distraction. Need to call home and ask Will to bring a few things anyway...