July 31st, 2012



Just gave Shana her two weeks notice after her neurosis became full blown imagining me doing things to cause noise to keep her from sleeping.

Since I figured Chris OR moving things anywhere in the apartment wakes her up, whilst she says the TV doesn't bother her as she can't hear it, I spent last night watching tv (that she said she couldn't hear).

Didn't do anything else. No dishes, no food, nothing but watching TV.
From there I got ice water, then peed, & went to bed.

So what is the response when I go in and ask her if it's okay if I invite Chris over? First "Whatever, it's your house." I respond that I can have him leave at 10pm with the exact same response. When I tell her that's not strictly true and that I thought that by doing absolutely nothing last night she would have had no problems sleeping (earlier she told me she slept - in my car - in the Target parking lot because she needed to sleep sometime(!)). She actually glared at me!

Followed that by accusing me of doing other things. I asked her what? She refused to respond except to say that I think I "can't do no wrong." over & over again. When I asked her what again, she turned passive-aggressive. I started shaking and turning nauseous because I was extremely particular.

Didn't water my plants. Didn't refill the pets water. No food. No dishes. I did get a glass of water with ice - as quietly as humanly possible - before heading to the toilet. Changed my top before getting my bed ready by straightening the three top blankies & throws. Fed my fish. Got my medicine ready. Went to bed. Played games and read. That's hardly doing anything loud, noisy, or even fucking unexpected.

She didn't tell me what she allegedly caught me doing at any point and I asked her over and over again. If she really wasn't imagining things why the drama? Why the attack without a straightforward response to a straightforward question repeatedly asked? I wasn't doing ANYTHING that makes noise. Especially not anything loud or disrespectful or even unconscientious.

So I told her she has two weeks. I'd give her two days after her cursing me out, but her car doesn't work right now and I'm not about to put her out in the street. Though she has done some extremely unconscionable things with my finances. She had my card until I just took it back after this further show of disrespect of my lack of finances.

More on that later. But I'm trying to decide how best to move forward. All I know is getting her out is best for me. Best all the way around, no matter what. She says she has a job to do while here and we will just leave it at that.

But it does make me wonder about some things she told me...when somebody acts a bit crazy like this it brings all sorts of questions into play. Was James really transgender? Did Shana's last live in situation really have her dementia patient smile before throwing oil at her face (she does have scars that are healing but from that or something less dramatic)? Will and Erica were the most drama free and least mental in a lot of ways.

This sucks. I want to be healthy again. I don't want to need a caregiver. Maybe I should look for a different place to live. Somewhere flat, few stairs, maybe a yard. The apartment around the corner would have been perfect - dammit for being second in line!

So I gave her fair notice though I'd kick her out tomorrow given a choice. But Chris is heading over and my phone is fading so I'm ending this here for now. So much more to write about! Good and bad.