So Sunday we are having our housewarming. It just so happens that my ex, Josh, is in town staying with Aba (who leaves back for Iowa next week) so besides our new co-tenants we will have our friends from all over. The house has two small apartments - one attached and one just hanging out in the back yard - besides our three-bedroom and half the basement. We left the invites basically in Aba's hands - ended up getting involved anyway due to such wide variety of friends in wide variety of places. Looking forward to seeing a lot of our friends and hopefully this will give us the incentive to get our stuff up on the walls finally.

Moving here as early as we did definitely kicked our ass financially. Hopefully the fact I found a pain management doctor in SF that understands and keep me on Fentynal™ while we try to figure out if the medical plants here are helping or not is worth the financial stress. Still not sure. The pain still really gets me and I have emotionally been difficult for the Husband and the Roommate. However we discuss things and they understand that I know after that I need to make up for it.

Finances are pretty bad. Artistic Fetishes is getting super-duper close to launch which makes me nervous but happy. I see new sites popping up that are based on a similar idea. Not that it matters since I decided to change the direction of the site. Print sales divided in three. No real membership. A $10 fee via Paypal for the 18+ proof to help keep the site afloat. The idea to do prints like this is not original, but I didn't take it from anybody. I just feel frustrated regarding the site and my health and the pain and our finances. Trying to not let things drag me too far down.

Life seems difficult currently when I look at it through those four things. When I look around me and see what I CAN accomplish by myself (with the Husband's help of course) it makes me try to push through it all so I can do what I plan on doing. Art. Erotica. Writing.

Having The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou play in the background to life makes me feel a little better. Turning 40 in less than a year makes me really want to make sure that I succeed in my goals as soon as I can. AF means a lot to me. Husband understands. So does Roommate. So do some of my friends. Do I want to make it live just to prove something to myself and the world? NO. Want to do it because we started it and I definitely feel that if we get it live I will be proud of myself for the launch of a project started with poor Husband dragged in and Safira helping me figure out everything that has gone bye-bye now that the site is going to be print-sale based.