Sad and in painMoving here as early as we did definitely kicked our ass financially. Hopefully the fact I found a pain management doctor in SF that understands and keep me on Fentynal™ while we try to figure out if the medical plants here are helping or not is worth the financial stress. Still not sure. The pain still really gets me and I have emotionally been difficult for the Husband and the Roommate. However we discuss things and they understand that I know after that I need to make up for it.
Finances are pretty bad. Artistic Fetishes is getting super-duper close to launch which makes me nervous but happy. I see new sites popping up that are based on a similar idea. Not that it matters since I decided to change the direction of the site. Print sales divided in three. No real membership. A $10 fee via Paypal for the 18+ proof to help keep the site afloat. The idea to do prints like this is not original, but I didn't take it from anybody. I just feel frustrated regarding the site and my health and the pain and our finances. Trying to not let things drag me too far down.
Life seems difficult currently when I look at it through those four things. When I look around me and see what I CAN accomplish by myself (with the Husband's help of course) it makes me try to push through it all so I can do what I plan on doing. Art. Erotica. Writing.
Having The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou play in the background to life makes me feel a little better. Turning 40 in less than a year makes me really want to make sure that I succeed in my goals as soon as I can. AF means a lot to me. Husband understands. So does Roommate. So do some of my friends. Do I want to make it live just to prove something to myself and the world? NO. Want to do it because we started it and I definitely feel that if we get it live I will be proud of myself for the launch of a project started with poor Husband dragged in and Safira helping me figure out everything that has gone bye-bye now that the site is going to be print-sale based.
