gloomyHaving my health going slowly and continuously slowly degenerating can, and is, just send me into a depressive tailspin. Do I really miss Shawn and do I honestly regard my divorce as a mistake to be mended if at all possible? I've got animals - effectively our children - laying on our bed and on me and my love for them does have my love for him mixed up in there.
But at the same time that I believe our divorce is a mistake I would rectify if I could, I do believe that for all the pain he has caused if he hadn't taken time off he would have continued to treat me progressively worse. I can love him but know that almost all who saw us together near the end thought he was horrible to and toward me. He may have outsiders who think otherwise, but I go off those who actually spent time with us enough to judge from their own experience and not just from what either of us had to say...
Enough...I merely wanted to note the fresh garden sections I have growing in my home. Things with Will continue to work. I do like him, I feel safe with him, and it seems to be doing us both a good turn. I haven't lived with a stranger and had it work out since Long Beach. I miss Long Beach. I guess because that's the last place I had health. We had a nice apartment. I miss ... Well I miss a lot but I like to try to move on and create a happy space here and now. Should tonight be a Mel Brooks or a Steven Sondheim night? And shall I write to see if this week might bring me visitors?
