Yeah, I'm "always" nauseous and the specialists who've had the worst problems figuring my innards issues and doing test after test that puts me in cycles that have worn me out to a point where I not only dread my GI appointments, but also fear them intensely.

Seeing a specialist in Neurogastroenterology - new one to me. I've had an appointment set up via my neurologist. Very scared and overwhelmed by the start of seeing a new GI specialist. AGAIN.

Learned I've gained weight back so even though I'm doing more and not eating more than usual I need to cut out soda and go back to seltzer when I have that fizzy need.

Watching Radiohead and crying from a combination of pain, nausea, and general distress from my missing Shawn. I hate that I still love him, but I do. And it sucks because he pushed me into the separation and then the divorce and I would never do either again...not the way he set it up so I was rushed through and I'm left looking back on a decade that has melted into misery when I even see somebody who reminds me of him. The pain is really bad so I'm going to post cute photos of my sweetlings and this embarrassing post before seeing what my plants need, if anything...

I do need to see if anybody wants to come stay with me for up to three weeks this mid-December so Will can go housesit and earn some cash while any friend who stays gets his furnished room for the stay. Yes, I need assistance but it works out to mostly less than 20 hours a week. The dogs and my doctor visits and sorting through my paperwork is the longest pain in the ass part of helping me. Luckily there are four loving pets to aid in the niceties of the home. And Netflix and PS3 and Wii and so forth and so on.

My bread machine works as wonderfully as my rice cooker. I've had two salads using the greens from my Aerogarden, which is a positive. I'm hoping to see Erica soon. I miss her. A lot. Oh well. Off to get some ice and "Smarties" - sugar pure and barely adulterated. :-)