mollyblack (mollyblack) wrote,

Postponing the Inevitable

Will woke me up and after hearing how I sounded he suggested that the appointment take place later as he thought recent stress and strain have been beating the poo out of me so rather than add more this week. Though I felt guilty about not going I did see the sense of his advice.

A major holiday week in which my usual day spent with my best friend where we cooked together and some years guests joined us and some years we spent alone together has ceased after a decade. The stress of this past year added to the pile of urgent financial problems added to this next month has wrecked me so I'm hearing myself wheezing at least once or twice a day and coughing so hard my muscles contract uncontrollably.

Another long discussion of off the wall topics with my conspiracy theorist republican roommate/assistant. I did learn about some new anthropological theories. As in only announced in 1999. While that's a long time for a marriage, it's a small dot in the wonderful world of anthropology. I would enjoy our discussions more if he didn't present things and refuse to agree to disagree. But as nobody ever visits me, I don't really feel socially satisfied.

It would have been nice if Randall could have moved in. If only Erica would respond and come over...she never met Petal just passing out of kitten months. Now she'll meet a kitty catching up to the Lolita size! Bah, I seriously need to find somebody to "sublet" when Will goes to the far reaches of Outer Sunset for three weeks.

To feel unloved and left behind does not help poor health become healthy instead. But love is bizarre. Even platonic love. Familial love. Erotic love. Unconditional love. Little rhyme or reason as to why certain chemicals get released (or don't) when interacting or even just seeing across a crowded room (or not).


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