mollyblack (mollyblack) wrote,


Talking Heads helps a little but I got my sick & dizzy ass out of bed to see my new GI only to wait half an hour and only then did I get told my new GI wants the GI who saw me in the hospital to handle my case. Never mind I don't even recall seeing a GI doctor during any of my hospital stays this year.

So I'm stuck waiting to see what can happen, if they can double book to get me in next week. Just ridiculous bullshit. I hate hate hate GI stuff. The doctors, appointments, medications, all of it. Fifteen plus years of trying Eastern and Western. Fasting and cleansing and still I'll have bouts of a week of non-stop vomiting. Just miserable.

Watching "The Dark Crystal" 25th Anniversary DVD with a Lolita asleep effectively on my shoulder. Femme Pois curled up next to me on the couch as per her norm. Ein and Petal are both in the pet beds in my bedroom. Anyway, I'm watching the DVD for what I believe is the first time. I can't recall ever watching the movie before. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter because it feels like the first time. It's very lyrical. Very beautiful. Definitely draws you in and haunts you as other, later, movies seem as though they've been heavily influenced.

Aba sent a link out to a few of his old school raving buddies, of which I'm most definitely one. My first thought was about Josh and Aba and Grace and the crazy night the recording was from. My next was how much I wanted to share it with Shawn - the music and the fun math Aba attached. It's SO difficult reining those thoughts in. Talking to James in the car about how I know he doesn't care about me the same way and how it hurts so much. Still hurts incredibly. But like everything else I need to mask it and hide this terrible heartbreak.

My health and Diane's leap and the one year divorce anniversary and all of it has me drowning in a sense. Oh well. Time to migrate from the living room to my bedroom. Wheeeee!!!


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