Even "Red Dwarf" isn't helping me out of this huge lonely pit I've become mired within.

I miss the company I've lost.

Does it seem odd that if I could I'd love to have a job in something like reality TV? My disabilities keep me from trying to attempt to do things that could move my life forward.

Woke up to a feeling of self doubt and worry that my heart hasn't been in the kindest place. A sort of feeling that I'm blocked off from my heart and thus not sharing the best of myself with the world around me.

But, in defense of my self, my stupid illnesses have me looking out for relief from their effects and have me just treading water. Which makes me a great person to hang out with, for the most part, but not exactly the outgoing social butterfly I used to be so ecstatically.

Protect me and love me and in return have an amazing cuddle partner that comes up with great business ideas and chips in more than my share so that we always have a happy home. I'll bake once in a while and share the joys of my movie and book collections at the drop of a hat.