I wrote this to a friend on my FaceBook page, and feel strongly enough with her response that it's worth sharing and saving here, in my journal:

I try very hard to figure out that thing that is my spark that made me such a success as a business person, in my own quirky way, I know that there's a chance I screwed up and missed my chance.

My weight before the steroids was low enough for TV, my life before my ex-husband was full of prime gold for reality TV - managing a glassblowing business in Santa Rosa/Sebastopol CA, traveling around the UK - hanging out with musicians/DJs/artists, etc.

But now? I'm overweight and not camera friendly. Maybe if I got brought on board a project as a writer/editor/producer - I can do each of those, as well as get in front of a camera if people don't care how I look, though I do need a teleprompter.

So, you know people...spread the word, and yeah, try to help me figure this out - because more than vocal support (as wonderful as that is) I need practical ideas/help. A job that I can do from my bed that only needs me in person once in a while, that would be most realistic. At least for now.

The fact is I have a disability that keeps me from being able to fly, but I can always take a train or boat or even drive (with a driver that I could act as back up for), I can - unless I'm vomiting - always do webcam work, and I live in Oakland, a fantastic place to base a project out of.

So I guess, yeah, please pass this along if you don't know of anything yourself, maybe you know somebody who knows somebody that can help me get started again.