mollyblack (mollyblack) wrote,
mollyblack
mollyblack

Getting Old Sucks

Since I recently gave myself a haircut I've been considering the term "selfie." Is anything that is self done now considered a "selfie" - like with the word "twerking," I find myself constantly trying to keep up with the language of today. I'm really feeling old.

And I'm missing the hell out of my health. I mean I REALLY want to feel healthy for at least a little while. But withdrawal is hell, no matter how you do it.

So looking into the mirror, I'm trying like hell to figure out how this happened. Today my eyes have bags that are both bruised looking, and making my normally very large eyes turn into raccoon eyes instead. Not "Liz Lemon" Shark Eyes, but a similar idea. They're just sunk into my head. The only thing that saves my face is when I put glasses on. Especially my ultra cool wise owl ones that nearly everybody compliments.

Worked on a script with brigid helping as editor/suggester and I feel close to ready to record it. Film doesn't work in this context, and neither does video. Another verbiage issue to ponder.

Feeling my loneliness a bit today, but once again, I'm undergoing withdrawal from opioid by tapering down my Suboxone and it's not always rough, but when it is? It really is. The vomiting is just ridiculous unless I smoke. Or I could lay in bed crying and vomiting/retching. Alien OG instead, please.

Wish that I could figure out how to share this process with the very people who would want to use it for their platforms, like NORML or the DPA. Or even locally, like BPG or Harborside wanting to subsidize my getting off this opioid with ONLY medical marijuana as my buffer and being able to use it for documentary or appeal use. Just a thought that watching Penn Jillette tweet so much about crowdsourcing (like my attempt) and how it's helping his movie (#badpenn) make it to a whole new level.

Oh, another thing: My second appeal for my IBM COBRA health insurance was approved! So now I just need to come up with the money to pay for it and then I can get it through the regular channels because it is under three months AND I wasn't removed for non-payment. But I still need to come up with the premiums for all of the above. But it's still a positive thing in a sea of not positives.
Tags: addison's disease, fibromyalgia, getting older, medical marijuana, nausea beyond belief, suboxone, suboxone withdrawal, words
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