I'm stupid. Really. The dogs needed a bath. Raul works now five days a week, though he has tomorrow off to go to social services as my advocate. No comments about him, please. This had nothing to do with him doing his job. It had everything to do with me knowing they needed baths and not waiting for him to have a day off to do it.

Which is why I ask for help from friends. Because his rent and utilities cover a fair amount of care, but not nearly what was covered by IHSS before they said I have too much income and not enough medical outcome. Which is BS which is why it's appealed. Hopefully, knock on wood, whatever superstition you have, please invoke it, so that the appeal tomorrow works out better than my disability one (yes, you are definitely disabled, however you became disabled after your benefits ran out), and I can get the assistance I needed again.

Because I'm a wreck. I haven't left the house in over a week. Definitely need outside help to make that happen. Vomiting at random times (happened yesterday when I was alone and under no apparent stress at the time) is not making going out any easier. It's much worse than the IBS cramping coming up on you because if you double over, you get more respect than if you start retching.

Sweating STILL from taking care of the dogs. Fans on NOW. That may help. The shaking gets really bad. I'm having to balance my whole body in order to type this. And if you see any mistakes that's because I missed them due to not having myself all together. Definitely hitting a rough patch in the tapering down. Need to get a 10mg shot of hydrocortisone when Raul gets home. No lie.

Yes, I got the shot last night from Raul. No, it didn't make everything better, but it should have helped my immune system get a little boost from the steroids.

Today, this very morning, there was a visitor from Adult Protective Services. She arrived while Raul was in the shower, cleaning himself up post-social services "appeal" and getting ready for his new job. She was very pretty, very nice, and completely understanding. Gave her all the information she needed and then some. She said the mess was not very much and even with the vomiting she said it was obvious that the situation was not as reported. She even gave us her number in case something happened and I needed an advocate - that she would help me in any way she could. So not a bad visit at all.

Yes, still vomiting. It's horrible. I'm actually typing this while laying on my side, partially curled up to keep my tummy on it's side. Less nausea when laying on my side. Had to place another order for my medical marijuana delivery. In the Bay Area, there's lots of places that deliver to your door. There's a few places downtown that are completely open due to Oakland passing Prop Z. One of the perks of paying every last penny to live in this area.

Had to move to a place with teaching hospitals. Wish I could go to an area that had all the perks of where I live now, while costing less than when I lived in Austin. A city I still feel drawn to. Miss, even. But I miss NYC and Somerville/Cambridge and Dublin and Kentishtown too. It appears that I have preferred to live in high cost cities in my healthy, capable of running around, life.

Derek visited me for a few hours yesterday. It was fun. And odd. It's kind of difficult to go through withdrawal like this without the framework of the hospital. Interaction becomes more and more difficult; there's none of the "coddling" that went on at Stanford in May.

Wow. Two major withdrawals in less than a year. And only a year after that major back surgery. Four weeks in hospital last year, three weeks this year, and now this homebound on my own version is going to add more "solitary" time to this year. Sigh. But I'm proud of myself. It seems like so few people get it, but this is a super big deal.