I've been looking at the fossils, the kaleidoscopes, the different rocks with gems, the spinning laser discs, the silly toys, the FUN of youth and the wisdom of grounding. I've even got my multi-sided die collection. It's just so happy and full of things that can't be replaced. I guess, along with my diaries and photo books, this is one of those things that remains very close to my heart.
After more than a year and a quarter, Raul moved out to his own studio. So now I'm here alone, searching for a new roommate or a new place to live and I feel sort of at loose ends. My outside caregiver will show up tomorrow after her morning job, but other than that, and Raul finishing picking up his stuff, I'm feeling a bit of at a loss.
Two and a half months of no pain control outside of acetaminophen and neurontin (which along with my hydrocortisone, I'm tapering down) and it hurts like a bitch, but I definitely feel so much happier in myself. I hung out with my neighbors for a little while, and it's slightly sad, because it turns out that the boyfriend, Justin, knows Bethany - he's actually close enough to know her history and everything. It's a Detroit thing according to him. His girlfriend, Katie, is pretty awesome as well. So it's bittersweet because they're moving out and we could've hung out this past year - we share a back porch for heaven's sake.
Bethany used to party with me in Cambridge, MA, and I took over when she moved out to Detroit in the first place. I modeled for her. We shared clothes. I've bought her ties for my ex, my Dad, and even for myself. She appreciated my trip box, most definitely. Dammit, lots of memories in this box. But I need to move forward...so while I'll keep my trip box, the bed and furniture Shawn and I bought together is all going up for sale. Because some memories are good to keep, but some? You have to move on.