mollyblack (mollyblack) wrote,

Trauma etc

I'm feeling weird due to the car accident I was in. The upper body sprains are definitely in play today, as is my PTSD induced flashbacks.

I was the sole survivor when my friend fell asleep at the wheel and we crashed killing her and my other friend way back in 1991. No drugs or alcohol. Just lack of sleep.

This is the first car accident I've ever been in as a driver. This time I was making a left turn on a yellow-turning-red light and somebody coming from the other direction hit my ass. You'd think she was completely at fault, but nope. I'm more at fault in the eyes of the adjuster. 70% at fault. How it's that much my fault, just boggles my mind.

Getting in a car again seems like I'm taking my life into dangerous territory every time.

And I'm scared. I'm still doing it for necessary errands, such as paying parking tickets or going to the doctor, but it's a struggle to prepare myself to get ready and actually drive.

Tags: car accident, fear, ptsd

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