I'm doing my therapy "homework," my daily gratitudes (using the Day One app), and three weeks of "I'm grateful for this, I'm feeling positive about that, and I need to work on this other thing" is leaving me feeling dried up.
I have little ideas that go nowhere. If I'd been smart I could have used some of the funds from my ex to pay for classes. My 20-20 hindsight has me either having gone to Auckland when I had the school opportunity or having bought a house in East Oakland when I had the opportunity.
A lot of my time is me mentally beating up on myself. I'm not the person I want to be. My mental landscape seems pretty bleak.
Could I write a non-gendered short story about my love for Ket? Would I finish something I would always compare to Jeannette Winterson's novel with a non-gendered first person voice? If I'm always comparing myself to the writers I love, how can I make it further than the outline stage?